By Michael Dority
'WELL, THIS IS all based on nothing substantive,’ he exclaimed.
‘Who says, asshole?’ came the opponent’s surly reply.
Cue cards go up in the studio. The audience roars in derision.
‘You’re attempting to take over the government. It’s a coup d’état!’ he said.
The moderator cleared his throat and proclaimed, ‘The challenger’s remarks are subjective and inflammatory, ignore them.’
Moderator: [whispering to the candidate] ‘You can’t win. It’s only a question of whether you can survive the campaign. I’m betting against you.’
The candidate turned to the incumbent. ‘You’ve exchanged truth for lies, freedom for slavery, individuality for conformity. What do you know about history, or anything else?’ The challenger rubbed his eyes. ‘Hell, you don’t even know what’s going on in the world. And don’t care.’
‘Nothing matters but here and now,’ the President said. ‘Never did or will. My influence casts a shadow over today, not yesterday or tomorrow. Every day exists in a new framework with infinitely new possibilities.’
Next, the President turned up his chin and scoffed. ‘Tell me, challenger,’ he barked, ‘why do you care? We’re both too old to remember anyway. The only difference between us is, I want to go out on top and you aspire to martyrdom.’
The moderator angrily stamped his foot. ‘What does that have to do with this debate?’ He took a step back from his podium to compose himself. ‘Candidate!’ he bellowed, ‘what will you do to improve the lot of the people; the great unwashed masses! Or will you tell them to eat cake and die?’
‘What,’ exclaimed the candidate. ‘does that mean, to “eat cake and die”?’
The moderator threw down a red flag. ‘Two more of these and you’re disqualified from the race!’ he forcibly announced.
The audience jeered. The open carries in the studio shifted nervously in their seats, wondering when they could unleash their personal opinions in this public forum. Soon now, their inner voices counselled. Very soon.
‘We can’t tolerate you and your ilk,’ cried the President. ‘You’re an enemy of the state. Seize him!’ he shouted.
…Pandemonium ensued, then followed the death of a nation.
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